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Panama Canal

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and the Suez/Panama Canal? A: One's a busy ditch.... [more ...]

Soon after the Texas Aggie clocked in for work, the foreman called him over and told him that he had a phone call in the front office. When the Aggie returned, he had a mournful expression on his face and his head hung low. His foreman noticed and asked if he ... [more ...]

Knock Knock Wannup

Knock Knock Who's there? I wannup I wannup who? You do! I didn't need to know that!... [more ...]

The snoring stopper!

A man has a dog that snores in his sleep. Annoyed, because she can't sleep, his wife goes to the vet to see if he can help. The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog's testicles and he will stop snoring. A few hours after going to bed, the dog ... [more ...]

Having Babies Questions

Mother is in the kitchen making supper for her family when her youngest daughter walks in. Child: Mother, where do babies come from? Mom: Well dear...a mommy and daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their room...they kiss and hug an... [more ...]

Will the real dummy stand up!

I give all of these people a DUH! - DOH! - & Woo-hoo! HANDS-DOWN WINNER OF THE IDIOT CORPORATION AWARD! AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. (Let that be ... [more ...]

Rejected Public Holidays

Top 12 Rejected Public Holidays 12 Start of Christmas Season Day 11 False Labor Day 10 Make a Move on Your Secretary Day 9 Hallmark Card Day 8 Bring Your Handgun to Work Day 7 Newtsmas 6 Deadbeat Father's Day 5 Bad Hair Day 4 Put Your Daughter ... [more ...]

Viagra soon to be marketed by Coke

A Pfizer Inc. spokesperson announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form and will be marketed by Coca Cola as a power beverage suitable for use 'as is' or as a mixer. Coke's proposed ad campaign claims:- "It will now be possible for men t... [more ...]

Resignation From Phone Committee

OPERATOR, WE'VE BEEN DISCONNECTED: Florida State Senator John McKay has resigned from the Senate Regulated Industries Committee, which oversees such monopolies as the phone company, after his wife charged in a divorce proceeding that McKay had been having an a... [more ...]

Leper at the World Series

A guy with leprosy wins tickets to see the world series. But when he gets there, he has trouble finding a seat because pieces of him are peeling and flaking off, and he's very concerned about grossing out the other fans. The leper wanders through the blea... [more ...]

Confucius Sex

Confucious say: Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day. Man who stand on toilet high on pot. It is good for girl to meet boy in park, but better for boy to park meat in girl! Man who jizz in cash register come into money. Man who drop watch in toile... [more ...]

Pregnant Maid

A husband and his wife advertised for a live-in maid to cook and do the housework. A likely-looking girl came in from the country, and they hired her. She worked out fine, was a good cook, was polite, and kept the house neat. One day, after about six months... [more ...]

yo mamma iz...

your mamma is so ugly, when she was born, she had an incubator with tinted windows, your mamma is so ugly, the doctor's still smacking her ass. your mamma is so funky, she used secret and it told on her. your mamma's drawls is so funky, roaches checkin' in ... [more ...]

Wanted: Woman!

Seen in the want ads: A tall well-built woman with good reputation, who can cook frogs legs, who appreciates a good fuc- schia garden, classic music and tal- king without getting too serious. Feel free to apply, but please only read lines 1, 3, and 5... [more ...]

George Carlin: I'm a BAD American

George Carlin Speaks Out... I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American. I am George Carlin. I like big cars, big hooters, and big paychecks. I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some midlevel governmental functionary with a b... [more ...]

Phrases for Work.

48 Phrases you wish you could say at work! 1. Ahhh...I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again... 2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. 3. How about never? Is never good for you? 4. I see you've set aside this spec... [more ...]

Yo' Momma is...

Yo' Mamma is so ugly, I went into your house saw her TV was covered with cockroaches! I asked her what she was watching, and she said 'All My Children'... [more ...]

Definition of a Wife!

(B)eautiful (I)ntelligent (T)alented (C)harming (H)omemaker... [more ...]

Funny